Quote from a magazine: "Even best friends aren't forever. Friendship is built on similarities, and you can't call anyone a best friend unless she (or he) calls you her (or his) best friend too. It's a sad but natural process: When one friend's life situation changes, so does the friendship. Change is progress, not betrayal. Keep the parting gentle and the memory sweet, and who knows? Sometime in the future, your best friend could turn up again out of the blue as that other precious relationship in life: an old friend."

Such is the reality of life. At certain points in your life, you can feel so connected to a certain person (or maybe two or three) that you know and feel so strongly that you'll be best friends forever. I'm not knocking that feeling. I have had a few "best friends" throughout the years too. But people grow and change. So unless you are changing in the same directions in life, it's hard to remain best friends forever. Moreover, who you view as your best friend may not reciprocate the feeling, i.e. his or her best friend may not be you. I think what's important is not so much trying to keep your best friend as your best friend forever, but to be a true friend to all your friends. That's what I aim to do, to be a true friend, even if I'm nobody's best friend....

You're so good at it without even realizing it... or maybe you do and you are savoring my every squirm. Don't make me go there. Don't.

Detest. Abhor. Disgust. Despise. Can't find words strong enough anymore.

Fear, my only constant company. I hate it, but what choice do I have. Living with something I hate. Living with fear.

The more I want something, the faster it slips away....

When you don't say much, people take it as you have nothing (interesting) to say. I guess they don't know about still waters... oh yeah, right, you'll listen. But, wait, I'm the only one listening. Not just hearing, listening. There's a difference. How can they listen with their mouths wide open. Empty promises. That's fine, just don't take me for granted. But I guess when I keep my mouth shut, I end up being taken for granted. Because I don't mention about all those things... yet someone brings up something else... like they were better? Like they did more? The people I admire - they don't speak much either. But maybe that's not as good as I thought... because to suffer in silence... that can't be good, or can it? Why bring the world down? Just my problems, not theirs. Yeah, it's all me. Just blame it on me. Easier for you, isn't it? Not to shoulder the blame. Not to think you had caused hurt. Yes, let's just leave it as that.